Is
saying something so amazing that makes people feel all good inside, even if
they know is not true.
“I can't be mad... coz it's such
a beautiful lie!” :’)
Jumat, 02 Januari 2015
Kamis, 01 Januari 2015
Learning to Love Your Problems
A first step in becoming a better problem-solver
Marsha Linehan, the creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, said that there are only four things you can do in response to any problem: Solve the problem, change your perception, radically accept the situation or stay miserable. Staying miserable includes making the problem worse, which we’ve probably all done at one point or another.
Remembering these four choices helps us stop searching for a solution that doesn't exist, like the old favorite of having the problem magically disappear or wishing the problem away. We say things to ourselves like maybe if I sleep on it, it will be different in the morning or I don't like my choices so I refuse to choose. We get angry, cry, and blare our horns (both figuratively and literally) at the car stopped at the red light in front of us, shouting “it” shouldn't be there and “it” shouldn't be so hard. If only that would work! Problems do exist and sometimes they are life changing and harder than understanding the speed of light. Whether we “should” have problems or not, we do, and though we all "should" have one, unfortunately there is no fairy godmother to make them go away.
The Allure of Avoiding
Most of us, when faced with situations we don't like, keep hoping for choices that don't exist and procrastinate doing what we have to do. Others may jump in with the first option that comes to mind without thinking through the consequences. Both are forms of avoiding. Avoidance is generally not the best way to approach life's difficulties, though sometimes we are rewarded with positive results. That occasional pay-off for avoiding may make it even more difficult for us to become more effective problem solvers.
Acceptance
So part of coping in problem situations is simply accepting that we have problems for which there are no perfect solutions with no downsides. We have them now and we’ll have them for many years to come. Getting up in the morning and hoping for a problem-free day is probably not the best survival skill. Problems are almost guaranteed, though they vary in severity and difficulty in solving. Having a problem-free life is not possible.
Many of you are probably arguing with that idea even as you read about it. It doesn’t seem logical, but for some reason many of us share an unspoken expectation that life could be problem-free and perhaps should be, if only we were good enough. Some of us seem to think that is the goal. Then we curse our bad luck, blame others or ourselves, and become discouraged when problems occur. None of that is really reasonable if we think about it. Problems are a part of life and relationships.
Changing Our Perception
Since we are going to have problems, then maybe we should change our view. If solving problems is a task we’ll have to do almost everyday, then maybe we should pay attention to our problem-solving skills. Instead of being happy to forget about problems as soon as they are over, maybe we should consider what we did that worked and what didn't work as well. Evaluating our skills and improving them could make the next challenge easier. And one of the skills to consider is our attitude.
In Solving Life’s Problems, the authors point out the importance of the way people view problems. Individuals who are good problem-solvers look at obstacles as a natural part of life, an opportunity to learn and to gain from experience. They approach problems as if they were inventing a new life for themselves. They evaluate the situation, define the issue and evaluate the pros and cons of all the possible solutions they can generate.
Good problem solvers believe in their ability to come up with solutions and to get through the problem. This helps them not become discouraged and give up easily or be afraid of issues and avoid them. For them it’s like a puzzle to be figured out. The good news is this attitude (as well as problem solving skills) can be learned.
If each time you encounter a problem you let go of fighting against it and instead think about how you can best deal with it, given the resources you have, you are likely to be more successful in finding an effective solution. Value your ability to be creative and know that there is no perfect answer with no costs.Your job is to find the best choice for you among the solutions that exist. Practice. Changing your view of problems will make a positive difference in lowering the stress in your life.
Source : http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pieces-mind/201205/learning-love-your-problems
Marsha Linehan, the creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, said that there are only four things you can do in response to any problem: Solve the problem, change your perception, radically accept the situation or stay miserable. Staying miserable includes making the problem worse, which we’ve probably all done at one point or another.
Remembering these four choices helps us stop searching for a solution that doesn't exist, like the old favorite of having the problem magically disappear or wishing the problem away. We say things to ourselves like maybe if I sleep on it, it will be different in the morning or I don't like my choices so I refuse to choose. We get angry, cry, and blare our horns (both figuratively and literally) at the car stopped at the red light in front of us, shouting “it” shouldn't be there and “it” shouldn't be so hard. If only that would work! Problems do exist and sometimes they are life changing and harder than understanding the speed of light. Whether we “should” have problems or not, we do, and though we all "should" have one, unfortunately there is no fairy godmother to make them go away.
The Allure of Avoiding
Most of us, when faced with situations we don't like, keep hoping for choices that don't exist and procrastinate doing what we have to do. Others may jump in with the first option that comes to mind without thinking through the consequences. Both are forms of avoiding. Avoidance is generally not the best way to approach life's difficulties, though sometimes we are rewarded with positive results. That occasional pay-off for avoiding may make it even more difficult for us to become more effective problem solvers.
Acceptance
So part of coping in problem situations is simply accepting that we have problems for which there are no perfect solutions with no downsides. We have them now and we’ll have them for many years to come. Getting up in the morning and hoping for a problem-free day is probably not the best survival skill. Problems are almost guaranteed, though they vary in severity and difficulty in solving. Having a problem-free life is not possible.
Many of you are probably arguing with that idea even as you read about it. It doesn’t seem logical, but for some reason many of us share an unspoken expectation that life could be problem-free and perhaps should be, if only we were good enough. Some of us seem to think that is the goal. Then we curse our bad luck, blame others or ourselves, and become discouraged when problems occur. None of that is really reasonable if we think about it. Problems are a part of life and relationships.
Changing Our Perception
Since we are going to have problems, then maybe we should change our view. If solving problems is a task we’ll have to do almost everyday, then maybe we should pay attention to our problem-solving skills. Instead of being happy to forget about problems as soon as they are over, maybe we should consider what we did that worked and what didn't work as well. Evaluating our skills and improving them could make the next challenge easier. And one of the skills to consider is our attitude.
In Solving Life’s Problems, the authors point out the importance of the way people view problems. Individuals who are good problem-solvers look at obstacles as a natural part of life, an opportunity to learn and to gain from experience. They approach problems as if they were inventing a new life for themselves. They evaluate the situation, define the issue and evaluate the pros and cons of all the possible solutions they can generate.
Good problem solvers believe in their ability to come up with solutions and to get through the problem. This helps them not become discouraged and give up easily or be afraid of issues and avoid them. For them it’s like a puzzle to be figured out. The good news is this attitude (as well as problem solving skills) can be learned.
If each time you encounter a problem you let go of fighting against it and instead think about how you can best deal with it, given the resources you have, you are likely to be more successful in finding an effective solution. Value your ability to be creative and know that there is no perfect answer with no costs.Your job is to find the best choice for you among the solutions that exist. Practice. Changing your view of problems will make a positive difference in lowering the stress in your life.
Source : http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pieces-mind/201205/learning-love-your-problems
Breaking the Limits
“When I was little and running on the
race track at school, I always stopped and waited for all the other kids so we
could run together even though I knew (and everybody else knew) that I could
run much faster than all of them! I pretended to read slowly so I could
"wait" for everyone else who couldn't read as fast as I could! When
my friends were short I pretended that I was short too and if my friend was sad
I pretended to be unhappy. I could go on and on about all the ways I have
limited myself, my whole life, by "waiting" for people. And the only
thing that I've ever received in return is people thinking that they are faster
than me, people thinking that they can make me feel bad about myself just
because I let them and people thinking that I have to do whatever they say I
should do. My mother used to teach me "Cinderella is a perfect example to
be" but I have learned that Cinderella can go fuck herself, I'm not
waiting for anybody, anymore! I'm going to run as fast as I can, fly as high as
I can, I am going to soar and if you want you can come with me! But I'm not
waiting for you anymore.”
― C. JoyBell C.
― C. JoyBell C.
Meaning of life
The meaning of life is a philosophical
and spiritual
question concerning the significance of life or existence
in general. It can also be expressed in different forms, such as "Why are
we here?", "What is life all about?", and "What is the
purpose of existence?" or even "Does life exist at all?" It has
been the subject of much philosophical, scientific,
and theological
speculation throughout history. There have been a large number of proposed
answers to these questions from many different cultural
and ideological
backgrounds.
The meaning of life is in the philosophical and
religious conceptions of existence, social ties, consciousness,
and happiness,
and borders on many other issues, such as symbolic meaning, ontology,
value, purpose, ethics, good and evil,
free will,
the existence of one or multiple gods, conceptions of God, the soul,
and the afterlife.
Scientific contributions focus primarily on describing related empirical
facts about the universe,
exploring the context and parameters concerning the 'how' of life. Science also
studies and can provide recommendations for the pursuit of well-being and a related conception of morality. An alternative, humanistic
approach poses the question "What is the meaning of my life?"
The value of the question pertaining to the purpose of life may coincide with
the achievement of ultimate reality, or a feeling of oneness, or even a feeling of sacredness.
The tale of the wolf and the owl
An old story in Lerre tells of a wolf and an owl, two very
different creatures that met through the owl’s wish to no longer be
afraid.
The owl was tall and skinny, lacking the grace and the wisdom
of his owl friends. They were all perfect and white, upstanding members
of the forest- and here he was, a brown owl with big black eyes that
looked on with dopey curiosity. There was another problem as well. The bird was afraid of heights. So he'd flutter up into the trees and hide out in lower holes
in the bark, while the more beloved owls took to the branches high above
for their shelter. His little hole was comfy and warm, so he did not
mind. But he found himself alone, and he had gotten used to it. The wolf was a creature of the moon, having moved away from his
pack in fear that he may bring trouble to them. Alone and guilt ridden
the beast ran along the stars every night, stirring them up and sending
them shooting across the sky. He did not fear the heights, running among
the clouds and over the tree tops in the light of the night's skyline
chandeliers. The owl loved to watch the sky. From afar he could see the
beast's silhouette running among the twinkling lights of stars, amazed
by how a mere animal could manage such a magical feat. The owl could see
the feral beauty of the creature, wanting to know more about the
mysterious one that traveled alone. Flapping his wings, the owl would
get to the top of the trees- before growing scared and blacking out from
the fright. He wished upon one of the stars that the wolf caused to shoot
across the sky that he may be able to fly up and meet him some day. Frustrated that he couldn't get over his fear, the young bird
continued to watch the wolf from afar. He would hoot as loud as he
could- and he was quite the noisy one- in hopes of gaining the beast's
attention. The wolf couldn't hear from so high above. The owl decided he could try getting closer- going to the top
of a tree and refusing to look down so that his hoot could reach the
wolf. He did so, and surprisingly the wolf stopped his running to turn
and glance to the noise. The owl hid away among the branches- he was
simply too frightened to speak to the beautiful creature. The owl decided perhaps rather than flying, he could climb.
That way he had the support of the branches in case he may fall. Using
the magic of the night as the wolf had done, the owl grew tall and
pulled away his wings to reveal human hands and bright blue eyes. Using
his new fingers and drenched in a feathery ensemble, the owl that was
now a boy climbed and climbed up the branches towards the sky,
nervousness and fear bubbling up as he drew closer. The wolf was making
the daily rounds through the stars, simply running away from the
memories that bit onto his tail. By the time the young man reached the top he was shaking and
terrified, but he had made it. This gave him the courage to cry out
louder than he ever could have hoped, voice echoing across the sky. The
wolf paused when he recognized the call as the one he had heard
previous. The beast looked upon the human boy that was once an owl,
surprised that he had chosen to reveal himself. The wolf watched calmly but with surprise as the boy explained
himself. How he as afraid of heights and how he wanted to fly among the
stars alongside the wolf so that neither of them were alone any longer.
The wolf did not protest- it would be nice to have company on his
nightly travels. Agreeing, the beast allowed his new friend to ride on
his back, the owl boy still too afraid to spread his wings and fly. They went on like that for quite a while. Both were
afraid to speak much of themselves- too afraid to tell of their
weaknesses and past mistakes. But things were discovered, slowly- it
seems the two had more in common than they had originally thought,
despite their contrasting natures. Time passed, and things slowly grew more and more
comfortable. Their thoughts were expressed more freely to one another,
and as they traveled through the stars they could have sworn that they
had fallen in love with each other. The wolf took on the form of a man at one
point, so that he may give the owl boy a proper kiss. It was at that
time the owl decided he was ready to fly, taking his old form once again
alongside the beast. The wolf continued to run, and for once, the owl
soared through the brilliant stars. Although he was still afraid of
plummeting to the forest below, he knew the wolf would be there to pick
him back up again. Neither were alone in their travels
when they had one another. The owl and the wolf were two strong souls
that became stronger with their bond. At times they would simply stop
running from it all to sit among the clouds and stars and stare on at
the moon, holding hands in their human forms and patiently letting time
pass in each others hold.Both were equally thankful that the owl had gained the courage to reach towards the sky and call to the wolf.The Definition of mail
The mail or post is a system for physically transporting documents
and other small packages,
as well as a name for the postcards, letters, and parcels themselves.[1] A postal service
can be private or public, though many governments place restrictions on private
systems. Since the mid-19th century national postal systems have generally been
established as government monopolies with a fee on the article
prepaid. Proof of payment is often in the form of adhesive postage
stamps, but postage meters are also used for bulk mailing.
Modern private postal systems are typically distinguished from national postal
agencies by the names "courier" or "delivery
service".
Postal authorities often have functions other than transporting letters. In some countries, a Postal Telegraph and Telephone (PTT) service oversees the postal system as well as having authority over telephone and telegraph systems. Some countries' postal systems allow for savings accounts and handle applications for passports.
Source : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mail
Postal authorities often have functions other than transporting letters. In some countries, a Postal Telegraph and Telephone (PTT) service oversees the postal system as well as having authority over telephone and telegraph systems. Some countries' postal systems allow for savings accounts and handle applications for passports.
Source : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mail
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